Monthly Archives: October 2010

my pinkie

My competitive streak emerged yesterday. After more than 10 years of not playing, I went OTT.

And now me injured.



EPF – Extremely Professional Fellow

i just came back from EPF with hubby.

and me being me, i framed myself to get ready (read: bitchy high patience and tolerance mode) as i presumed that there will be some drama at the counter.

and no, it’s not a presumtion, but rather after a much confused telephone conversation that i had with their customer service personnel regarding my inquiry. (Flashback: you see, my understand of Gomen jargons is limited, so when  i called to inquire about the steps, he started the whole list peppered with Borang xxxA dan surat pengesahan xxx which to me sounded like Hebrew. and when i later asked questions, i could hear from his voice that he was exasperated with this stupid dungu who to him didn’t understand why the sky is blue.)

so off we went, me with my folder ready, and hubby looking extra delicious coming back from a meeting(dunno, maybe its the hormones talking).

anyway, i digress.

once our number was called, we went to see this chap who was the customer relations executive.

he looked like Hasbullah-something-cant-remember-the-fathers-name and even sounded like he was commentating a football match while explaining the steps that i had to take for me to be able to withdraw my money.

and the way he explained was so simple and he even circled and ticked the documents that was needed and the forms that i had to fill.

and me being me, i have a bit of difficulty reading formal Bahasa forms, as the words they use scares the living shit out of me.

i mean, hang tulih la dalam bahasa yang aku bleh paham, tak la aku menggagau nak belek borang hang tu. nasib baik boyfriend aku ni abang gomen, jadi dia memang terror la baca and paham borang yang hangpa buat.

and before we ended our session with that guy, hubby turned to me and asked me to ask whatever questions that i might have after the explanation.

and being the dungu that i am, i started to shoot.

and this Hasbullah-look-alike answered each one professionally and friendly (eventho aku tau he must think whyyy la this woman dont comprende what was being explained earlier)

so, we left the building, hand-in-hand, me with a spring-in-my-step (cos i am already starting to list down the shoes things that i can buy soon) eh, itu pun if i have any coins left after paying the hutangs.

but nevertheless, its Fun. making the list, that is.


<div class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 2058px"Happy boy

Happy boy

a lazy saturday

Babies,both me and daddy are really sorry.

I know we said that we will go jalan-jalan,but til now,we are still at home.

We used the rain as an excuse.

Used hunger as an excuse.

Now my 2 babies are taking a nap.

I promise, once u guys wake up,we’ll go for ice cream.

Love u cookies.

Separated, for now

it is sad to say, but me and hubby are currently separated at the moment. we still live under the same roof, but we dont sleep on the same bed anymore.

this has been going on for the almost 1 1/2 months.

i cant the remember the last time we actually slept in each others arms.

or cuddle underneath the covers.

or to wake up in the middle of the night to find our legs intertwined.

or to hear his heartbeat lull me to sleep as i lay my head on his chest.

we didnt ask for it, it just happened.

and yes, it is because of another lady.

yes, i know about it.

and yes, i have met her. actually i meet her everyday.

i cant compete with her.

she is gorgeous, talented, smart, kind and very very attractive. in short, she is perfect.

unlike me.

can i change what is happening? yes, but i dont have the heart.

can you put forward your own happiness before others?

cos i know that the other lady is happy.

takpela, its okay. let her have her happiness, while i suffer in silence.

it not only hurts me inside, but even my physical being.

but i guess, i just have to suffer in silence.

i have confronted hubby many times, but he said i am just being selfish.

that i am only thinking about myself.

is it wrong? i want to be happy too.

i even have the picture of the other lady.

i dont care, but i want to show to the whole world, and let everyone know.

that this is the one separating me and my hubby.

the perfect lady


you see, this lady has been hogging the bed.

and poor daddy is resorted to sleep in HER kiddy bed.

kesian daddy,nasib baik kaki tak panjang sangat, kalau tak lagi kesian.

so yes, thats why i havent slept with hubby. pasal Jasmine wants to sleep with me and Rashard on the bed.

what? what were you thinking?!

to my baby cake

happy birthday sayang. i hope you enjoyed your birthday party yesterday at school as well as our intimate dinner at the place where idontlikethefoodbuthavetogoonceayearcosyoulikethebirthdaysingingandchanting.

i will try to write a post on the place yang sangat bersyukur ianya hari Jumaat, but that will be another post.


this one is dedicated to my beloved 6 going 35 darling who is a mini replica of me.

babycakes,  i know i have this tendency to have too high of expectations on you. dont get me wrong, i am not pushing you, its just that i know you have so much potential.

alhamdulillah you are smart, beautiful (i got it from my momma!), witty, a GREAT sister, daddy’s little girl, very kind and soft hearted, very stubborn and hard headed, a person who sticks to her guns, sometimes very timid and shy and very loving.


i am totally in awe everytime you say something that belies your actual age. and sometimes worry that you are hanging around my friends too much that you are growing up too fast. (yes, she knows about gays, and transgenders and lesbos).


you my baby is the best singer. the ability for you to memorize a song lyric that you like suprises me. and the fact that she wants to have a band with her as the singer and her youngest uncle as her guitarist is so cute.


you my baby, you  are the best thing that ever happened to my life.  you and kenzo and daddy. but with you, you will always be special cos..


ur you. i am having difficulty trying to explain and to put it in words, but it boils down to that. you are special cos you are you.


and because you are mine.


i love you baby cakes, and i know there will be fights, youslammingthedoorcoslifeisunfair, shopping conspiracies that we will have to hide from daddy, me covering up for you when you need to go for a date with a boy that daddy didnt like, and so many other things that we will share in the future, insyaAllah.


please remember that i love you, and no matter what, you CAN tell me everything eventhough i might die of a high blood pressure or just get a cardiac arrest.



i will promise to love you no matter what, and i will protect you against all harm and wrong as long as i can.


i love you babe. always always.


Dona Alesya Jasmine 7 months old

High Strung

its been a hectic few months.

and i have been goin on a roller coaster ride.


i would like to publicly apologise to firstly my darling boyfriend. sayang, am so sorry if i have been a beeyatch these past few weeks. i’ve been snapping, sarcastic, throwing hissy fits, and just being downright difficult.

im sorry.

to my babies, Jasmine and Rashard, Bonda is really sorry for neglecting you cookies. its not that i dont love you, but i have been very stressed up, and i know it is not your fault, and i should be doing this to both of you.

to my family, im sorry if i have been too busy and not being able to be 100% there.

and my Has-beens and my munchkins, sorry for the lack of time and effort. i want to, but mind is halfway elsewhere.

i have been too busy, that i haven’t been dishing out sarcastic remarks to my favourite group of people!


so, gimme a few more weeks to settle all this, before i can take my long anticipated break.

Last but not least, i would like to say


We love you babycakes. always always.


Daddy, Bonda, Adik a.k.a Kenzo and Bibik loves you loads!